Feeling Capable with Money

Feeling capable with money does not always happen naturally. Many people walk into adulthood without being taught how to budget, save, plan, or make confident financial decisions. So when you struggle, it can feel like something is wrong with you. But nothing is wrong with you. Capability is not born; it is built. And it begins the moment you recognize that your financial journey is not a test you are failing, but a skill you are learning.

I learned capability the long way. Growing up without financial education, then stepping into adulthood with anxiety and caregiving responsibilities, I had to learn through trial, error, and grace. I remember the early years of marriage; and even then years later in caring for William and all his challenges, every financial decision felt heavy, like one mistake could break us. I didn’t feel capable at all, I felt overwhelmed, confused, and behind. But every time I showed up, even imperfectly, I grew. I learned how to track what mattered, how to build small margins, how to say no to what wasn’t serving us, and how to create stability through simple habits. What looked like capability on the outside was simply consistency on the inside.

Capability grows when you understand your numbers instead of avoiding them. When you look at your bank account every day or every few days, you begin to see patterns. You no longer feel blindsided or ashamed. You begin making decisions grounded in truth rather than fear. Awareness is one of the strongest powers of capability. You cannot feel confident about something you are disconnected from. Money clarity gives you power.

Capability also grows through small moments. When you stick to a grocery budget, decline an impulse purchase, shift money into savings, or set a boundary around spending, you prove something important to yourself. You prove that you can do this. And each time you follow through, your capability strengthens. You begin trusting yourself. You start viewing yourself as someone who makes wise decisions, resourceful, learning and improving. Trust in yourself is the foundation of financial capability.

The last piece is having compassion, grace for yourself. You cannot build capability through shame. You cannot grow while punishing yourself. When you treat yourself with grace, you create the space to learn without fear of failure. You become more willing to try, to adjust, and to keep going. Compassion turns mistakes into information, and helps you continue to move forward. It transforms fear into wisdom. It allows you to keep moving without carrying the weight of perfection.

-Amanda Butler - Steel Peace